Katherine Arnup's Compassionate Guide

Katherine Arnup, a retired professor at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada has published I Don’t Have Time for This! A Compassionate Guide for Caring for Your Parents and Yourself. The book arose from Katherine’s own experience as a caregiver for her sister and her parents when they were dying. She also has worked for many years as a Hospice volunteer.

It’s an experience that, in a way, you’ll be lucky to have. If you’re caring for your parents it implies that you and they have all reached a ripe age and that your relationship was close enough that you are there. This does not by any means lessen the burden and the heartache. It is tough to see once vibrant parents fade away. It’s also a potent memento mori: for in their decline we see our own.

But there can be moments of joy and humor. Aging and death are profound parts of life and there is much to be learned from experiencing them.

Katherine provides sage advice, stressing the importance of being present. Acceptance, of your limitations, their frailties and the situation itself is also key. This can be challenging in the 21st century where the practice of “making it better” is so ingrained. Sometimes, what’s you’ve got is as good as it gets. 

Katherine also stresses the importance of looking after yourself, an essential element in an endeavor where burnout isn't an option.

A Baedeker of elder care, I Don’t Have Time for This! A Compassionate Guide for Caring for Your Parents and Yourself was featured on the PBS site Next Avenue and is available on Amazon.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Guest Blogger: C.M. Mayo

Image
From Fellow C.M. Mayo : In the years of writing, researching, and revising my novel, T he Last Prince of the Mexican Empire (Unbridled Books, May 5, 2009), I enjoyed several  intensely productive stays at VCCA. A few sparkles:   In the corn crib studio: Drafting General Achille Bazaine's flashback scenes of 1850s Algeria, Arab music on the CD player, snow falling on the skylight. At dinner: Chatting with novelist Josephine Humphreys about archives and the influence of the dead. By the fireplace in the living room : Reading these same pages with Peter Behrens ,  reading from his novel then in-progress, The Law of Dream s. Eating potato chips with poets Sandra Beasley and Alfred Corn . Trying not to be embarrassed when Alfred (bless him) corrected my French pronunciation.   In Sweet Briar's Library : After checking e-mail, reading Virgil. Rectangles of autumn light falling on the old tables.   One sunny afternoon outside my studio by the barn:  Finding Peter Behrens, ...
Read more

VCCA and Sweet Briar College Enter Long-Range Planning Process

Image
After decades of informal discussions, VCCA and Sweet Briar College have decided to study the various possibilities of a permanent home for VCCA. VCCA has been leasing Mt. San Angelo from Sweet Briar since 1977. Both institutions have agreed to actively pursue a long-term solution to the current annual lease renewals. The timing is mutually beneficial in that VCCA is embarking on a new Strategic Plan, while Sweet Briar is implementing its Plan for Sustainable Excellence. The opportunities to explore include, but are not limited to, the following options: VCCA purchases the Mt. San Angelo property and remains there VCCA and SBC enter into a lease-to-purchase agreement for the Mt. San Angelo property and VCCA remains there VCCA moves to the Sweet Briar College campus VCCA moves to another non-SBC location This is a long-range planning process, one that will take place over the course of several years. VCCA Fellows, friends and supporters will be invited to share ...
Read more

The Auvillar Community Connection

Image
VCCA’s programming in Auvillar is greatly enriched by the Auvillar community and it's surrounding areas. This has become clear during the Etchings Festival when a number of community members welcomed guest composers, performers, and participants into their homes. Jacques and Annick Sarraut hosted a beautiful dinner for the entire Etchings Festival as well as others from the community. After a successful first concert, Joelle Cywie welcomed the Etchings guest composers, performers, and staff into her home for celebratory champagne and dessert. VCCA-France has members in the United States, Auvillar, and the surrounding communities. Many of these members support the programming by welcoming VCCA Fellows in residence or program participants into their homes for cooking demonstrations and meals, and by taking them to visit local sites during their time in Auvillar as well as attending events hosted by VCCA. The VCCA-France is currently helping to raise funds to purchase a keyboard...
Read more